The Inner Me (Chapter One)

Hi Everyone!

I'm currently in the process of writing a story for myself privately on Wattpad and I thought I would share the first chapter with you. I'll give you a background then you can start reading the book. Please leave your opinons in the comments!

Alisha Smalls. 19, no parents, depressed. Lost. Lost her mum last month with cancer, dad abandoned her at 6. Her only wish is to once again find happiness.

Chapter 1: Colours

I woke up. The colorful walls of my bedroom seemed wrong although the curtains were shut and I couldn't see them. Thoughts clouded my head, why am I here? Can I just die? I needed my tablets. I checked my phone; 6:15am, might as well get up.

Black and white were the only things that sort of aesthetically pleased me at the moment, I wasn't prepared to get over Mum just yetI went in the kitchen, again all the colours felt out-of-place... too happy. I took 2 of my anti-depressants and ate some waffles, slightly feeling happier. Yet still lonely. Since mum left I've been lost, unwanted, used by friends and slowly been sinking. Without my dad I had nobody, but myself.I turned on the TV in the bright red living room,  The Jeremy Kyle Show, ha. No thanks. I switched it over to NCIS: Los Angeles. Better. I sat there for a couple of hours, watching TV, watching YouTube. I checked my phone, 2 texts.

Nicole: Hey Lishbish! Wanna go out to Starbucks? Bored xxx

and the other from the one person I hated right now; Jamie.

Jamie: Hey...

I typed a reply to Nicole: Sure! Bored too, meet ya at half 1 xxx

Nicole was my best-friend, she understood me and was the only person I had right now, course I had to meet her. Jamie, he was a retard, he made fun of me both times one of my parents left, has always bullied me and only texts me wanting to cause trouble. I blocked his number. I wasn't in the mood for him. I never am.

I got ready to go to Starbucks, I wore kind of an emo skater outfit with a black brick printed Hype rucksack.Black and white were the only things that sort of aesthetically pleased me at the moment, I wasn't prepared to get over Mum just yet. I sat on my window seat watching the traffic, with my earplugs in, listening to TOP for a few minutes before turning off the lights, locking the doors and walking to Starbucks. I walked in, seeing Nicole sat in the distance waving at me like a maniac, mango frappucino in her hand. I laughed to myself and ordered a Pumpkin Spice Latte before going to sit with her.

'Hey, Nico!' I pulled out the chair opposite her.

'Hey! How've you been?!' She chirped, sipping her frappe.I took a deep breath, I had asthma, 'Same old, dealing with my depression, contemplating existence, ya' know.' I twiddled my thumbs.

She tilted my head up so I was looking her in the eyes, 'Alisha... it will get easier.'

I pulled out my phone,'I think I might try getting over it now, it's the past, I can't change it. I do love her but I think it's time to... let go.'

'You may get over her on the outside but you can never forget her in your heart.'

'I know, Nicole...'She clasped her hands on mine, 'I'll support whatever you do, remember.'

'Yes... wanna go to Primark?'

'Erm, yes!'

Nicole was great and how the hell she's stuck by me for the last 17 years I honestly haven't got a clue. She was the only person who had been with me practically my whole life, other than my mum. While she could be.


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